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Chapter 2: Tough Life in the NBA
I routinely draw the toughest defensive assignments in the NBA. I dominate the league so much that, much like the Jordan rules and Hack-a-Shaq, teams and league officials have had to adjust to me by creating the "Bradley Rules". What are the "Bradley Rules", you ask? Ineffective if you ask me!
In an attempt to somehow lessen the effectiveness of the "Stormin' Mormon", the league has resorted to creating new rules such as "fouls." If that is not enough, once the "Stormin' Mormon" has picked up six of these so called "fouls" in a game, he is ejected. The only reason that the "Stormin' Mormon" accepts these fouls is so that he can get to work on his second job, "Peanut Seller."
It is an insult to the Second Most Dominant Ever to be called for such ridiculous things as "fouls." Oh yes, I know you must be angry Yao. But just remember that you should never be embarassed. Many before you have been locked up on defense by yours truly and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Huh? Yao, why is the Chinese government lining up to shoot you?
This is me stretching before the big game. Yes, even utter marvels such as myself still need to take careful preparation before the games of our lives. Wait a second... why did Mark Cuban send me to a daycare center's gym? Oh screw it, they'll come back and get me. I just know it!
You know those annoying commercials that NBA TV plays 600 times a day with NBA players reading to children and Paul Simon making fish faces at the camera while singing some sort of song of his? Well we, the Dallas Mavericks, are a proud part of this group! Today I am reading a book about a man pretending to be something he is not and he is routinely embarassed for it but the man cannot bear to let his fame go because he is a freak and this is the only thing he can do except take cats out of trees for old ladies. As far-fetched as this scenario sounds it's actually a pretty good book.
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