Awards for Week of November 3, 2003


Allen Iverson Award

Tracy McGrady 27 MIN 2-10 FG 0-3 3FG 0-0 FT 6 REB 3 AST 0 STL 3 TO 3 PF 4 PTS

This isn't so much for the shooting as it is the overall horrible performance by supposed franchise player and All-NBA performer Tracy McGrady. While Tracy is shooting commercials and telling us the gay population of the National Basketball Association, McGrady is also heaving up an adorable 35% FG% on the year. Awww, how cute! Perhaps if he put as much time into figuring out that tenacious zone defense everyone is using on him as he does with these retarded commercials then his team wouldn't be 1-6. Well, if he got to the free throw line even once then maybe he could score a couple more points. I mean, 4 fucking points? Did he not average 32 last season? Three turnovers? Only 27 minutes? Wow. Also, Doc Rivers challenged McGrady to become an All-Defense performer this season. Lets see how he did against the Minnesota shooting guards in this game:

Latrell Sprewell 32 MIN 7-15 FG 2-4 3FG 6-6 FT 3 REB 4 AST 22 PTS
Fred Hoiberg 28 MIN 4-7 FG 3-5 3FG 1-2 FT 5 REB 2 STL 12 PTS

Hmmmmm, no, I don't think that'll do it, Tracy. What happened to that boy?


Marcus Camby Award

It's a new season so I should go ahead and remind you that Grant Hill is still injured. Of course, he vows to return and help the Orlando Magic return to the land of .500 teams so that they will land another #15 pick that will turn into another draft bust. Draft another tall point guard, Gabe! It can't hurt!


Antawn Jamison Award

Allen Iverson 44 MIN 15-30 FG 2-4 3FG 5-9 FT 4 REB 4 AST 2 STL 3 TO 37 PTS

Iverson pours in a ton of points but still loses. Doesn't that get old? Ron Artest, of all people, pours in 30 points as Philly is starting to get a grasp of what Glenn Robinson is all about: scoring and absolutely nothing else. The opposing team's point guard, 56-year-old Kenny Anderson, who almost didn't have a home this season, goes off for 11 points after averaging only 6 during the season. Iverson gambles a few times and gets 2 steals but gives up about 5 layups when the gambles don't pay off. Once again, doesn't this get old? On the bright side, Iverson got his 30 shots in and, somehow, managed to hit half of them. Maybe if Aaron McKie could score a single point in 24 minutes...


Chris Webber Award

Malik Rose 44 MIN 2-12FG 11-14FT 8REB 2AST 1STL 0BLK 5TO 6PF 15PTS Nov 6 LAL
Devean George 25 MIN 2-6FG 1-2 3FG 1-2FT 7REB 0AST 0STL 0BLK 3TO 6PF 6PTS Nov 6 @SA

This has to be a tie just because both players managed to foul out. Rose can be forgiven since he did play 44 minutes but he also committed 5 turnovers and shot 2-12 from the field. It's not like Karl Malone is a great defender, Malik.

Devean, on the other hand, managed to turn the ball over 3 times while playing 25 minutes and still managed to foul out. Devean, you have 4 future Hall-of-Famers on your team (as the announcers are quick to point out). You're going to have all the open looks you want. Can we go ahead and try to shoot a little better next time?


Knicks-Heat Award

Denver 10 24 7 19 60
Indiana 18 21 21 11 71

Carmelo Anthony, Denver's rookie sensation (you never hear the NBA associate anything else with the word "sensation" except with rookies), shot a fantastic 1-13 from the field while Marcus Camby followed up with a 1-11 showing. Both scored 2 points each. That's pretty good, huh? The only Denver players that showed up were Earl Boykins (18 points, 4 assists) and, surprising, Rodney White (14 points, 8 rebounds, but 4 turnovers). The shining moment of this game would have to be Denver's 3rd quarter explosion with 7 rim-rattling points.

For Indiana, Jamaal Tinsley didn't even play, recording a DNP-CD. A few other Indiana players didn't even play either just from glancing at the boxscore. Jeff Foster, Fred Jones, Scot Pollard, and Austin Croshere didn't score a single point. Foster played 29 minutes while Jones logged 17. Super sub Anthony Johnson shot 2-12 from the field and scored 5 points in 27 minutes while Kenny Anderson shot 1-8. Yes, the same Kenny Anderson who scored 11 on NBA Superduperspectacularstar Allen Iverson. Time to go drink some Sprite, guys.


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