When the fans, who paid
between $10-$500 for a seat to watch their team give their all,
get a bit unruly and decide to boo when one of their players commits
homicide on the court then who, I ask, will be there to control
them? Do you really think Darius Miles will do it? He’s too
busy making MTV movies! Darius is having a hard enough time trying
to figure out the intricacies of this sport known as basketball,
which do not involve the dunk.
Maybe Zach Randolph can put in extra time after
practice and learn how to deal with the media just as Rasheed did.
Perhaps he can sit in a chair, slouched over with a cowl on his
face, and repeat the phrase, “Both teams played hard”
until I vomit in my mouth. It doesn’t have to be an isolated
effort though. The entire team can pull together and work on this
strategy, which would be both innovative and entertaining.
Who will be their 6’11 3-point shooter? Every
team needs a player that can ignore their talent and height as Rasheed
does. This is a tough position to take over. Abdur-Rahim is not
a 3-point shooter, nor is Mr. Randolph. Darius Miles is not even
aware that the NBA installed a line 23’9” away from
the basket in which you are awarded 3 points for making a field
goal from said distance. I guess Damon Stoudamire will have to shoot
twice as many, which is a shame because that will tarnish his dead-eye