I Like To Sleep With Lots of Women
By: Washington guard Michael Jordan

"Take my hand and I shall wisk you away to 30ppg land!"

I am Michael Jordan. Do you like that? How about when I pull your hair? Do you like that? I'll make a bet that you haven't slept with a man on the same caliber as me, Michael Jordan. In fact, you're just a little whore, aren't you? You like it when I bend you over that couch and call you Bryon Russell, don't you? You little slut. I'm going to bring my buddy in here and he is going to Scottie Pippen you and you're going to like it because you're a whore. And you like it, don't you? Yeah, I know you do.

Oh, Juanita! I didn't know you were coming home so early! Hey baby, why don't you join in? It'll be fun, just like that time Rodman and I stuffed you, remember that baby? The time Rodman and I stuffed you? Oh, you didn't like that? Well why not? I am Michael Jordan, you know. Hey baby, where you going? Come back! Let me give you a little Jordan Loving Care, or as I like to call it JLC, baby! I once averaged over 35 points a game, but that was before I knocked you up and, instead of paying child support, I decided to marry you Juanita. Nobody ever mentions this because I am the perfect athletes, perfect in every way if you know what I mean. Oh, my elbow in your rib cage hurt you? Well then, just let me give you a little JLC!

Oh, Yolanda! I didn't know you were coming back so early! Well, why don't you join myself, my wife Juanita, and my new friend Emilio Escobar for some drinks and some JLC! Oh, you don't know what JLC is? You'll find out, just bend over. Yeah, mind if I call you Craig Ehlo while I piledrive you? Too bad, you're my bitch. Yeah, you're my bitch, aren't you? Yeah, you like that.

Oh, dad! You were raised from the dead! I thought I killed you long ago when you threatened to bring about all these nasty rumors to the public eye! Well dad, you can join in too. After all, I must have learned JLC from somewhere, didn't I? Oh, not from you? Oh please, dad, I know you must have bukake'd at least 5 different women in your lifetime. No? What do you mean no? Look, I don't have time for these games old man. Go back to your grave and leave me alone, I have another comeback to prepare for.