Listen To Me Talk

By: Future Governor Charles Barkley

"Choking white people: Because anything less would be uncivilized!"


There is so much about the NBA that people really don’t know. Have you ever just been sitting at a hot dog stand and looked over and saw something you couldn’t believe. Multiply that by 100 and that is what a typical day is like in the NBA today. I played for 3 teams in my career. When I was playing for the Houston Rockets I was on the greatest team ever assembled. Have you ever see a commercial that didn’t involve “black” humor? It’s terrible. What happened to the kid on Malcolm in the Middle? That kid is racist. I’m very unappreciated. I was on the internet the other day and I saw an article about this man named Blake. I wrote a book awhile back and nobody bought it. Have you ever been to Alabama? There is all kinds of things going on there. The Sacramento Kings simply do not have what it takes to win a NBA title. Yao Ming needs to get tougher and be black. The black man is the most copied man in America. If you can call it that: “America”.
"The black man is a slave to society. Soda is cheaper nowadays. Have you seen those suits on draft day?"
I listen to the radio sometimes. Karl Malone is a fierce competitor. I could have won the NBA championship in 1993 but I think it would have tarnished my legacy. Black people are not appreciated in this country. Have you ever seen a black man? There aren’t enough of them. I went to a bar yesterday and drank a lot. Immigration in this country is not a problem. Jobs are the problem. Sleepy wasn’t even Sleepy Floyd’s real name, did you even know that? I am thinking about running for governor someday. Black people. Nobody really realizes the full potential of Dirk Nowitzki. I don’t watch baseball. How many times have you ever seen a black man in America? I couldn’t even tell you. Where is my contract? OK look white people, let’s make a deal here. Dominique Wilkins is a bonafide Hall of Fame player. White people don’t appreciate me. UConn did not deserve to win the national championship.
"White people make these silly things. I don't have a candy bar named after me. Cologne doesn't work."
Tracy McGrady needs to leave Orlando right now or else he will see what it’s like to be like I mean black people just don’t appreciate me enough. I’m not stepping on that god damn scale anymore, Ernie. I’m not a role model. Hey remember when Chris Webber dunked on me? I did not appreciate that. Chris Webber plays for Sacramento. If I’m Sacramento I would wonder if they appreciate me. Did you know that the average black man can’t even buy a gun if he wants to? I read that in a newspaper. Baron Davis is the MVP of the entire league. I could return to the NBA today and put up at least a double-double. Digital cameras; heh, what's that all about? Have you ever just sat down and talked to a black NBA fan? I have a college degree. Young people need to understand the basics of the game like flying down the court on a fast break and ignoring your teammates so you can dunk the ball as hard as you can. The average fan cannot walk into a basketball arena and not see a black man that is poor and that is what is wrong with this great country. Why can’t white people be poor too? I love white people sometimes as long as they don’t keep money from black people. I’m rich. I used to listen to music. I retired approximately 16 times during my NBA career. This suit isn’t as tight as it looks. That’s the problem with this country; not enough black men in suits. There are black people outside right now that are waiting for hey what happened to that one guy that used to play for the Grizzlies? See, this is what I’m talking about. You know what, forget this.
"Did you know that crack was put in America soley because Len Bias went to the University of Maryland? My shoe size is bigger than yo momma's face. BAM! Bonzi Wells."